Naomi Karten

Naomi Karten explains how logic-bubbles, those bubbles of perception within which a person is acting, can help you navigate the relationships between your team members. When people have perspectives different from yours, it could be that they’re misinformed, ignorant, or incompetent. But it could also be that their perspectives are as well-founded as your own when considered within their particular logic-bubbles.

While everything should be done to avoid project failure, it does occur. When it does, management and the team must look into why a project failed, to avoid repeating mistakes in the future. Failure must be more than simply accepted or allowed. It also needs to be closely analyzed.

Many people are familiar with the build-break-build method of starting with positive feedback, then the negative, and then more positive. But is that the most effective way to convey your compliments and criticism? Recent research has been done to determine the most effective, and polite method.

A while back, I had dinner with a faraway friend, Jim, when I was in his town to see a client. Jim was thrilled about the new project he was working on and his excitement was palpable as he described it. But as he spoke, his eyes were focused above my head, as if I were perched up there on the rafters. I kept thinking, “Hey, I’m down here, look at me!”

To truly reduce the turbulence of change, you may first need to simply accept that turbulence is coming, instead of trying to prevent it. By understanding that everyone responds differently to change, and allowing for a period of turbulence, you'll enable everyone to move more quickly past it.

Uncertainty doesn't have to be a bad thing, but many say they'd rather know there were definitely problems coming, rather than be uncertain about whether there were or not. What do you prefer? Do you spend valuable time trying to prevent uncertainty?

An apology can help to defuse anger. That’s common sense. But it’s encouraging to read about research that confirms this fact.

One of the most important roles of a leader is to serve as a role model for others in the organization. In this article, Naomi Karten describes a situation in which a CIO forgot this responsibility, almost taking action that would have undermined his efforts to reverse the IT organization’s plunging morale.

As a member in good standing of the Mighty Short club, I sometimes fantasize about being an average of 5’8” tall. But not too often, since the notion of an individual being “an average” of a certain height doesn’t make any sense. Yet this misuse of “average” is something I encounter often.

Giving yourself, and your team, the necessary time to adapt to and move on from change is the healthiest way to make sure that everyone is back on the same page in a timely manner. Learn how to avoid prolonging the necessary time to "heal" by minimizing turbulence.

Sometimes we get so set in our ways that we fail to notice an easier way to do things, simply because it's not the way we typically solve a problem. By allowing ourselves to use different parts of our brain to accomplish even simple tasks, we won't continue to limit our growth.

We all know what it’s like to be frustrated with someone else when that person isn’t being as responsive as we would like. It’s especially easy to do when our own work or responsibilities are on the line. In this tale from Naomi Karten, she shows that a lack of response doesn’t necessarily mean a lack of care and explains how very important it is to have the full story before you get too worked up.

A vendor left me a phone message. He began by thanking me for visiting his booth at a conference at which I was a speaker. He told me his product was just what I needed—it would solve some of my biggest problems—and he assured me I’d benefit in many ways. He then asked if I’d call him back so we could continue the conversation.

Conversation? What conversation? This fellow had mastered the Art of the One-Way Dialogue!

My lunch-mate and I were seated quickly. Time passed, yet no one took our order. I’m not the most patient person in the world, but on this occasion, I was willing to wait my turn.

Why? Because the waitresses were dashing about breathlessly. They never just sauntered. They never moseyed. They never even dillydallied. They hustled and bustled, racing from table to table, into the kitchen, out of the kitchen, somehow managing never to spill a drink or drop a tray.

Have you ever had to contend with a demanding developer? A testy tester? A cantankerous customer? Why oh why do people act that way? Rather than wondering why they act that way, it can be helpful to consider the circumstances that might account for their behavior.

Responses to ratings-based surveys are particularly prone to misinterpretation if the surveys don’t allow space for open-ended comments. These comments offer insight into what respondents are really thinking, which may not be obvious from their ratings.

I once attended a presentation by an executive who began by saying, “I want to get through the initial slides so we can get to the interesting stuff.”

How would you react to this remark if you were in his audience?

I have a colleague whom I used to view as a loud mouth. He was intelligent, articulate and full of life, but also arrogant and opinionated. He never talked quietly; he shouted, hurling his voice across the room.

One evening, he appeared just as several of us were leaving for dinner after a day-long meeting. I tried to send him go-away vibes, but he wasn’t in receive mode. When one of the others invited him to join us, he eagerly (and loudly) accepted.

Procrastination is sometimes called the putting-it-off disease. However, I think procrastination is vastly underrated. I rarely get as much done as when I'm putting off doing something I really don't want to do. It's amazing how many things I can find to do.

Sometimes we're blind to what's right in front of us. We think we're paying full attention, but, as Naomi Karten knows from a recent travel experience, we're not. In this week's column, Naomi describes what happened and discusses some fascinating research that demonstrates how common this form of blindness is.

Have you ever had an experience where you gave your all for your customers and still they were unhappy? If so, one possible reason for their reaction is that you implemented a major change without preparing them for it. In a company I visited, I came across a situation that aptly illustrates this kind of failure to communicate.

Complaints in the workplace about insufficient or inadequate communication are common, yet that very word "communication" is subject to multiple interpretations.

Here's an example of what I mean: A director had a survey conducted to determine the cause of his employees' low morale. One of the key findings was their desire for more communication. Eager to put things right, the director began circulating more reports and email than ever. And as a voracious reader, he started to extract articles from his many periodicals and circulate them to everyone.

At the end of a conference I attended, buses lined up to take conference-goers to the airport. Anticipating long lines at the airport, I raced to the first bus, leaping over luggage and zigzagging around people. I handed over my luggage to be stowed in the baggage compartment, hopped on the bus, and began to mentally pace.

Time passed, but the bus didn't depart. I realized that I should have taken a cab, but my suitcase was buried under heaps of luggage. I had no choice but to sit tight.

Managing My Expectations

When things go awry, it's easy to slip into a Fault-Finding, Finger-Pointing (FFFP) frame of mind. After all, if everyone else did what they were supposed to, the situation you're now facing wouldn't have happened. But before concluding that someone else is to blame, it might pay to ask: Could there be a reasonable explanation for this situation -one that would cause me to see this situation in a positive light?

When your department runs into snag in working with other departments, how do you resolve the situation? Getting together to talk can help not only to rectify the current problem, but also to minimize future problems.

When you face the discomfort and uncertainty brought about by change, it's tempting to want to do something to deal with the situation. But, acting precipitously could be a big mistake. In this column, Naomi Karten explains why and offers some suggestions of what to do instead.

One component of providing superior service is managing the customer's perception of the service. I heard about a medical office study that supports this view. The study found that if, upon entering the examining room, the doctor smiled, exhibited a friendly manner, and made immediate eye contact, patients' estimates of the time they spent waiting dropped by half.

Service businesses that really care about their customers don't boast about how much they care. They don't need to. They simply deliver. Caring about customers is part of their service philosophy and it shows in the way they treat their customers. Conversely, service businesses that persistently proclaim how much they care often seem to fall short.

Do you expect the people you interact with most often to know what you're thinking? If so, watch out, because you could be setting yourself up for disappointment. It's best not to expect others to know or do things they don't know they're supposed to know or do.

We spend 34% of our time waiting. Waiting in traffic. Waiting in lines. Waiting on hold. Waiting for tech support. Waiting for information.

I have a colleague whom I used to view as a loudmouth. He was intelligent, articulate and full of life, but also highly arrogant and opinionated. And he always shouted, hurtling his voice across the room.

One evening, several of us were just heading out for dinner when he appeared. I tried to send him go-away vibes, but he wasn't in receive mode, and when one of the others invited him to join us, he eagerly (and loudly) accepted.

There's a hotel near my office that's a popular site for business meetings and conferences. It's part of a hotel chain that prides itself on its service, and it shows. I've given numerous presentations at this hotel chain, and I've been impressed with the staff's attentiveness and responsiveness.

But the last time I visited the hotel for a dinner meeting, something was different. I sensed that the management had implemented some new customer service initiatives when I noticed signs in various locations about how important customer service is to them.

It happens repeatedly: People assure customers that they can ask questions at any time, but their actions suggest otherwise. For example:

As a frequent flier, I've had that dreaded experience in which I go to Point A and my luggage goes to Point B. Once, my luggage went to a more exotic destination than I did.

On one trip, though, I wished that my suitcase had, indeed, gone to Point B. It emerged on the baggage carousel with a ripped zipper and the top bent back so as to reveal its contents. (We are warned to wear clean underwear in case of an accident. To that I add, pack clean underwear it case of nosy onlookers at the baggage carousel!)

Griping and grousing seem to be so prevalent these days. For that reason, I've been gratified to read several articles and blogs recently that commented on the positive impact of kindness and encouraged readers to do their share. I second that.

Have you ever said A to your customers and they thought you meant B? Or, they said C and you thought they meant D? Such situations can lead to flawed outcomes and damaged relationships, especially if you don't discover the conflicting understanding till too late.

A while ago we got a notice that the town would be installing a fire hydrant near our house. OK, fine. Weeks went by with no information about when it would happen. Then one Wednesday my husband was outside and saw a guy doing some marking and measuring. They started chatting. The guy said they'd be doing the installation two days later, on Friday. And almost as an afterthought, he mentioned that they'd be turning off our water for the duration.

I came across an important observation on anger that I wanted to mention because it relates to my previous blog, in which I offered some thoughts regarding my StickyMinds column, What To Do When Anger Strikes. In a comment on emotions in Chip and Dan Heath's excellent book, Made to Stick, they point out that when you're angry, you become more certain about your judgments. When you're angry, you know you're right.

I was surprised last week when I received several email messages thanking me for my article, What To Do When Anger Strikes. I appreciated receiving these messages, but I was confused. This article was a StickyMinds featured article in 2005, so how did people come to be reading it now?

The mystery resolved itself a few days later when I noticed that a link to this article was included in a StickyMinds weekly email. (Thank you, StickyMinds staff!)

I'm always amused when I receive a bill that's accompanied by an insert that reads, "We have redesigned our bill to serve you better." Typically, following this heart-warming message is an explanation of how to read the redesigned bill. But if the bill has been redesigned to serve me better, shouldn't I be able to figure it out without a cheat sheet? Or is the purpose of the new design not to inform, but to obfuscate?

People tend to view brand names they're familiar with more favorably than brand names they're not, and that finding could be important for you and your work.

Do you ever do things the same old way because that's how you learned to do them - even when there's a simpler or more efficient way? In his ultra-fascinating book, Why We Make Mistakes, Joseph Hallinan describes how easily this can happen.

He reports the following research. In one experiment, researchers gave people the following challenge, using 3 jars of water:

In a book called Supersense: Why We Believe in the Unbelievable by Bruce M. Hood, I came across some intriguing research about rigid thinking. The research entailed asking three groups of kids—four-year-olds, six-year-olds, and eight-year-olds—to balance rods of different lengths on a pencil. All three age groups were able to quickly figure out that to balance a rod, they had to place it at the midpoint.

There's an excellent article in the New York Times (5/21/09) by Daniel Gilbert, a professor of psychology at Harvard University and author of Stumbling on Happiness, a book I recommend and frequently quote in my own writings. The article is called "What You Don't Know Makes You Nervous" and the gist of it is that people tend to be more content knowing the worst case scenario than facing the uncertainty of not knowing.

Am I the only one who gets bugged about the misuse—and misunderstanding—of the term "average"? One recent instance, for example, is the much-touted statistic regarding flu outbreaks—that every year, an average of 36,000 people die from the flu.

What were they thinking? Or were they thinking? Bad enough doing the photo op in lower Manhattan. But to do it without informing the public! And from what I've read, it was a deliberate decision not to inform the public.

It's easy to take potshots when things like this happen. But things like this happen all the time, especially in the workplace. Have you ever had a situation where someone withheld important information from you? And conversely, have you ever been the one doing the withholding?

Here's a fascinating factoid: The word "deadline"—something every software professional knows only too well—didn't originally have anything to do with due dates. Apparently, the term arose during Civil War times. A deadline was an actual line, indicated by a fence or railing or by a line in the dirt, intended to restrict the movement of prisoners in Civil War stockades.

Is there a word for a prediction you wish you could make, but are thus far reluctant to? The prediction I would like to be able to make is that Twitter will inspire people to write shorter email messages. Too many people write email messages that are way too long. (I include myself here.)

Well, I certainly didn't figure that my first post for this blog would be triggered by the frenzy this past week over Susan Boyle, the whoda-thunkit singer on the British TV talent show. The judges' tone of voice, words, and facial expressions showed that they knew—they knew—that Susan Boyle was not Someone Who Could Sing. She fit their image of a loser. And they were wrong. They had prejudged her based on their preconceptions, and they were wrong.

Successfully persuading others to adopt your point of view is a matter of neither magic nor luck. It's a skill and like any skill, improvement takes know—how, opportunity, and practice. In this column, Naomi Karten offers pointers to help you strengthen your persuasion skills.

Given a choice, most people would rather have happy, satisfied customers than angry, complaining customers. But how to create customer satisfaction is sometimes a mystery. In this column, Naomi Karten describes one person's experience that backfired and taught him some lessons.

Personality differences often pose challenges for people who need to work together. One such difference is that which separates introverts and extroverts. Just by being themselves, introverts and extroverts can drive each other crazy. But they can also benefit from each other's strengths. In this column, Naomi Karten explains this personality difference and helps introverts and extroverts better understand and appreciate each other.

Speaking at a conference can work wonders for your credibility. Delivering a presentation is an opportunity to share your insights, convey valuable information, and gain a reputation as an expert on your topic. Provided you keep a few key points in mind. In this article, Naomi Karten offers suggestions for successful presentations.

If your customer interview questions focus too narrowly on a problem that must be solved, you run the risk of missing information that could be critical to a successful outcome. In this column, Naomi Karten says playing detective improves your ability to gather information. To improve the odds of success, it's important to ask questions from multiple perspectives—and to pay attention not only to the customers' response, but to how they say it as well.

After reading Naomi Karten's StickyMinds.com article "Thinking Inside the Box," in which she mentioned an experiential exercise she had facilitated, numerous readers contacted her to learn more about conducting such exercises. In this column, Naomi Karten describes one of her favorite team exercises, with details on how to conduct it and what to expect when you do.

When building successful relationships with your customers, certain verbs such as "to respond," "to listen," and "to involve" are important and should be used. But this column is about another common place verb that's not at all customer focused: "to get." Naomi doesn't mean "to get a 50% raise for completing the project on time" or "to get a week off for creating a brilliant test plan." No, she means, "to get customers to do things your way." Learn how simple verb replacement therapy can help you build better relationships with the customer.

The problem with urging outside-the-box thinking is that many of us do a less-than-stellar job of thinking inside the box. We often fail to realize the options and opportunities that are blatantly visible inside the box that could dramatically improve our chances of success. In this column, Naomi Karten points out how we fall victim to familiar traps, such as doing things the same old (ineffective) way or discounting colleague and teammate ideas. Thinking outside of the box can generate innovative and ingenious ideas and outcomes, but the results will flop when teammates ignore the ideas inside the box.

Sometimes it seems like talking to a customer is about as effective as chatting with a brick wall. Have you ever considered that the problem may not be your customer but your communication skills? Naomi Karten explains why HOW you say something can be just as important as the WAY you say it.

Have you ever had to cope with a demanding developer? A touchy tester? A quarrelsome QA person? A cantankerous customer? Why oh why do people act that way? This column describes the route one IT group took to reverse a customer's bad attitude and make her a valuable ally.

Customers don't always know what they want. That's a given. But even if they do know, they may not always be able to communicate it clearly. That's also a given. Given these givens, you have a much better chance of comprehending your customers' needs and concerns if you're a skilled information-gathering skeptic.

In their eagerness to embark on a new project, project teams sometimes overlook an essential aspect of their effort—building a relationship among team members, which will foster not just a successful project outcome, but also a satisfying work experience. Investing in relationship building is invariably less costly and time-consuming than recovering from the divisiveness and conflict that may result from its absence. And that's where team norms come in.

A potentially serious impediment to success in software projects is false assumptions. Both yours and everyone else's. If you act on false assumptions as though they're true, such as by assuming you understand exactly what your customers want, you may find yourself faced with flawed software and failed projects. In this column, Karten explores false, conflicting, and hidden assumptions, and how you can "surface" them.

It's important to be honest when dealing with customers, no matter what that honesty entails. You may not always be able to deliver your product on time, but not communicating that truthfully with your customer can be devastating to your business. Dare to tell your customers the truth. They don't like to hear bad news, but they'll appreciate you for giving it to them straight and giving it to them as soon as possible. This article will help motivate you.

Naomi Karten specializes in helping companies succeed in their projects. In this column, however, she gives tongue-in-cheek advice on how to make a project fail. Read on to see if these steps to failure are part of your organization's modus operandi.

Perceptions & Realities is a quarterly newsletter that provides practical and concise advice on how to manage customer expectations, deliver savvy service, communicate effectively and build win-win relationships. This issue talks about client relations, a tip for strategic planning, listening to customers/coworkers, evaluating SLAs, and more.